9:19 PM
Saturday, February 28, 2009 one more chance and trust me more.
im confused. im really sorry baby. i'm a pathetic person. i didn't wanna hurt you by keeping everything to myself. i tried to understand ur ways. i jus can't baby. i need someone to talk to. i was so depressed, so lonely. i've never felt so lonely in my life. yes , i know. i always look forward to meet you. but i was so sadd. i tried to keep everything in myself. i was so scared to lose you. i never want to hurt you. i realy didn't know how to bring up the subject. you always seem to be so angry every time i bring it up. i tried very hard baby. i tried too hard to be that person you want me to be. you are the most wonderful thing that happened in my life. i wanted both you and my friends. i needed to talk to my gerlfrens about clothes, gossip and all. i miss them so much. im not the kind who stayed at home. but i tried to for these few months. you didn't even let me work. i know the reason why baby. you were so scared that it blinded you from seing me NOW. not who i used to be. i know what was last was downright awful. i don't blame u for that. what i did in the past was stupid. i was so hurt by someone. i thought doing all those things ; partying , drinking , playing around , not coming back. helped me numb the bloody pain i was suffering. i was wrong , i made myself a walking soulless person. i know your intention was to prevent me from all that. can't you see. . .? the sacrifices i made for you al this while? i never want to hurt you, that i end up almost going crazy. i wanted that closeness with my friends so badd. i was so jealous that you were in school. talking to your friends ,be it your classmates or gym members. you had people to laugh for no reason , talk crap and just be yourself. and me? i had no one baby. no one at home. i was so miserable. i kept it in too long that one day, which is today i let it all out. im sorry i maki you baby. im sorry i raised my voice at you. i need you to haf faith in me. trust me with all your heart. and i SWEAR. i will never betray your trust. this i promise you. and please believe me baby. i have never loved someone so much. im sorry i had to bring out all those stuff. cos i needed you to know. you mean more to me than any of them do. i sacrifice myself so that you won't be hurt. i love you too much. but just this once i wan you to understand things. im not like last time. i will never be. and i need you to haf faith in me ok love? |
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